I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
