i'm signing you up for texting rehab
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
