i think my mom watched the whole time
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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