I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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