i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
