ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize