please come you make the beer taste better
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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