peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
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No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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