made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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