Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize