I love having hate sex.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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