Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize