i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
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