Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
