I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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