I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I did not marry a roomba.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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