Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
