guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
is wine microwaveable?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
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