If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
