So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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