Where is the hickey?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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