Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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