i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
