I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
