i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
