What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
