I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
zippers are such a cool invention
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
