but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
