This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
