we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
my liver is dry heaving
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
