Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
