what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
