idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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