Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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