gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I party with great urgency now.
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