how do flat chested girls get laid?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
