Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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