she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
