A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
