btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
