I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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