it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
