you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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