break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
