right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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