i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think i got beer on your cat.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
