Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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