OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
