I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He felt like a one man threesome
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
