Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
