I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
