No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
