It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
