You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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