you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
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She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.