Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
