is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...