is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now