the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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