a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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