Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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