Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize