My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
