seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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